Divorce can leave anyone depressed, financially strapped, and uncertain about the future. Regardless of the reason for the split, divorce is one of the most stressful and heart-wrenching experiences in life.
Emotional wounds take time to heal and it is natural to mourn the end of a relationship, even if you were the one who wanted to split. However, life continues after a divorce and countless divorced individuals around the globe are living fulfilling and successful lives.
Though it is next to impossible to eliminate the roller coaster of emotions during this period, you can alter the way you respond to them to rise above the situation and move on.
Here are four ways to get over the heartbreak of divorce, transforming this end into a new beginning.
- Take Good Care of Yourself
Holding on to negative emotions post-divorce can take a toll on your mind and body. Now that you are living a solo life, focus on yourself.
Developing a hobby is a wonderful way to jumpstart your new life. Instead of letting your divorce consume you, find a passion and allow yourself time to heal.
Pet therapy works well during this stressful period. The health benefits of having a pet are well-documented. Numerous studies have proven that having pets can reduce the symptoms of anxiety, depression, and other psychological disorders. Consider getting a four-legged companion who can help you get through this rough phase.
The emotional turmoil after divorce often causes individuals to give in to unhealthy habits like comfort eating, smoking, or consumption of alcohol. Make sure you stay away from these by exercising regularly and maintaining a healthy diet.
Set achievable goals for yourself to keep busy and boost your confidence. Whether it is accomplishing the household chores or helping your kid with a school project, setting mini-goals will remind you that you have a future ahead of you.
When life rocks your boat, you can count on your family and friends for steadiness and support. Make sure you spend time with your near and dear ones to vent your feelings in a healthy manner and stay cheerful.
- Let It Go
Moving on after a split isn’t easy because in all probability you are still carrying the anger, pain, and disappointment of the past. Divorce can stir a host of negative thoughts and emotions that can wreak havoc on your overall wellbeing.
Learn to forgive yourself and your ex-spouse by acknowledging the factors that led to the separation and loosening your grip on the past. Practice mindfulness by being conscious of your emotions and accepting them as valid.
Be kind to yourself! Most of us are experts at offering a kind word to a loved one in crisis; however, we often tend to think and speak critically of ourselves. Stress, combined with harsh self-talk, can release stress hormones like Cortisol, slow down metabolism, and hamper sleep quality.
The inner critic in you can dent your self-esteem, making it tough for you to move on after the separation. Remember, it takes two to tango; hence, blaming yourself alone is neither healthy nor helpful. Practice self-compassion and focus on creating the future you deserve.
- Avoid Making Decisions in the Heat of the Moment
During the first few months after a divorce, your mind is a scrambled mass of emotions. Even though you may be relieved about getting out of a bad marriage, it is natural to feel angry, disappointed, and embarrassed during this period.
Therefore, avoid taking life-changing decisions such as remarrying immediately, quitting your job, selling your house, or relocating to a different city or country. Decisions made in a fit of emotions are always regretted in the future.
- Get Professional Help
Divorce is mentally, physically, and financially taxing. Though your family and friends may try their best to support you during this period, it is wise to get as much professional support as possible.
For instance, if you are finding it tough to cope with your emotions, consult a therapist who can help you come to terms with the circumstances and encourage you to have a positive outlook.
Financial complexities after a divorce are common. Consult an experienced accountant or a financial advisor, who can guide you with financial planning, explain the complexities, and offer effective solutions.
Similarly, you may have to tie up a few loose ends in the legal procedure. Dealing with matters such as spousal support, child custody, division of property, and the name-changing process isn’t easy. Moreover, the laws and legal procedures are different in each state of the U.S., which may leave the layman confused.
For instance, the Illinois state law has adopted the Uniform Child Custody Act (UCCA), which not only offers parents the option of joint custody but also recognizes grandparents’ visitation rights. Thus, if you are a resident of Wheaton, a family law attorney in Wheaton, IL can offer you information on the state’s child custody law and help you make an informed decision in this regard.
Getting over a divorce means letting go of the painful past and focusing on what life has in store for you. Though this is easier said than done, you will eventually get your life back on track with determination and the effective tips shared in this post.
Jenna Adams is a certified divorce coach by profession. She is associated with Peskind Law Firm, a family and divorce law firm offering services to the folks of Illinois. She specializes in everything when things come to divorce and beyond that. She helps people with setting up post-divorce goals to bring about improvements in their overall life.