Divorce can be very difficult on young children. In fact, often times the divorce is more difficult on the children then it is on the spouses. If you are choosing to divorce your spouse you are doing so because you do not love them anymore. However, your children do love both their parents. Their love for their parents does not change after a divorce. Depending on what your Gig Harbor Divorce Attorney ordered, your children’s lives may be changing a lot.
Children have to learn to live an all-new life with divorced parents that can be hard for them. Depending on how the situation went down, your children may have been present when things unraveled. It is most likely that your children are going to struggle and you need to be aware of how divorce may affect them so you can be prepared to help them when they need it.
Lashing Out
Depending on how young your children are, lashing out is one of the most common behavior changes that parents see in children who are going through a new divorce. Children will feel like they are out of control and will search for anyway that they can to be in control of situations.
Really often, children think that lashing out will show their parents that they can not be controlled. The child is ultimately looking for the parents to give them added attention. You can start to adjust the problem by showing the children more positive attention when they are behaving well. You child is going to need to be reinforced more often than you may have previously given them. Be patient while the adjustments are made and make sure that your child feel comfortable to come to your and talk about their struggles rather than lashing out.
Speaking Mean Words
If your divorce was messy and there was a lot of fighting leading up to the divorce the children may have picked up on some of the mean words that you used towards each other. The children will associate the words they heard with feelings of sadness and may start to use the phrases more often.
If you have a child who is speaking and saying hurtful things, you need to talk to them about where they learned those things. They may be embarrassed to tell you but you need to work on fixing your relationship in this instance. Let them know that you made some bad choices when you talked to their other parent that way and that you both need to work on using more kinds words. If you can work through it, and explain that you have made those mistakes also they will likely be more willing to make the changes and be more kind.
Your children may have a hard time adjusting to your divorce. You have to be patient and address each of the concerns that they have. Don’t make them feel as though you are angry at them, but let them know that you understand the feeling and that you are going to work on being better together. You will get through the difficult time, but it will take patience.